How Hot Is It?

It is so hot here and has been this entire last week. How hot is it? Well to give you a clue here are some things that have happened this week.
It is so hot that when I open the refrigerator the flies swarm in to get cooled off.
It is so hot that when I took out a frying pan, before ever turning on the burner, having put the eggs in it, by the time I reached for something from the other counter, the eggs were cooked. 
It is so hot that our faucets had to be renamed: Hot and Hotter.
It is so hot that I had been ironing sheets for thirty minutes before I realized I had never plugged in the iron.
It is so hot that when I hang up laundry, the first pieces are dry by the time I put the last clothes pin on the last piece.
It is so hot that the ice cubes are getting sunstroke.

It is so hot that the air conditioners in the malls need to have fans blowing on them.

It is so hot that our wine deer stripped off its clothes.
It is so hot that our small herd of zebra keeled over in the lavender patch.
All donations of cool air are ‘warmly’ appreciated.

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