Hail Holy Internet

For a number of people, myself among them, the Internet is like a religion. I cannot live without it. I use it to share with friends via e-mail, research for articles I am writing, checking on the latest entertainment, getting the news, and tons of other things. When I don’t have access to it, things get nuts.
Yesterday morning the Internet was flaky. E-mail was coming in but not going anywhere. It sat in my Outbox like letters to Santa Claus go to the land of the lost at the US Post Office. Firefox was not working, but Chrome and IE 8 were not either. My mail program was acting very strangely. It would open and immediately freeze the entire computer. The only solution was to manually turn off the computer to reboot.
After rebooting the computer, cable box, and router yet still not finding a solution, I ran the anti-virus program for a deep scan. It kept stalling at 37% with a Chrome extension. I could not find the extension, so I deleted Chrome along with all of the other recent programs I had installed, thinking there may be a conflict in software. After rebooting the computer again, the anti-virus ran fine taking 2 hours to do so yielding nothing amiss. 
When I opened the e-mail program again, a pop-up window stated that due to an Adobe Flash upgrade, the e-mail program may not work correctly, so here is a download to fix the problem. Well, finally! 
Unfortunately, that still did not fix the problem. Thinking wide, I tried the phone. No dial tone. Tried to make a call, nothing. Aha, it is the cable company, not me. Turn on the TV, sure enough, no picture. Too late last night to call the cable company, though they have 24 hour service, I don’t have 24 hour patience to deal with them. 
This morning, nothing had changed. No phone, no TV, no Internet. Strangely, I could download mail, but not send a thing. Not only could I not surf the web, I could not even belly board or doggie paddle it. These are usually the times when I have a dozen burning questions pop into my mind that need  answers right then and there. Instant gratification is only playing with my mind. 
After calling the company, it turns out there is a problem in the neighborhood. They hoped it would be fixed by tonight. I can send e-mail from my mobile phone, but it is a pain trying to type on the keypad. While I was on the phone, the nice lady asked if she could ask me a couple of questions. Anticipating a survey on customer satisfactions, I agreed, ready to blast the service. Question 1 – Why are you still sending us money. You have a credit of 44,780 Huf. You could go four months without paying your bill and still have a credit. “Please do not send us any more money.” I had always hoped to be able to say that to anyone. 2. We have new faster plans and they are actually cheaper than the plan you have. Are you interested? Sure, I want faster unreliable service. Sign me right up. Tomorrow, they are coming to install a new cable modem box. As least now I will know at a much faster rate when I don’t have access to the Internet and pay less for the privilege.
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