The Farmers Are Out to Slaughter Me

Them there Mid-westerners took umbrage to my Iowa Tea Party comments, but more certainly my disparaging the middle of the USA in general. They have threatened to form a tractor pull with me in the center. Some of the Iowans have tried to intimidate me with suggestions of body snatching and then being hog-tied while breathing deeply on a tour of their pig farms. To top it all off, they then want me to spend a season watching the corn grown. 
As daunting as all of this sounds, they had the  gall to send a picture of the Committee for Harassment of Iowans. Doesn’t this look rather intimidating?  I have included it here to see if others concur. 
This is a sure fire way to keep me only on the coastlines of the USA if I should ever return. The last time I was there was 2003, so what is the rush to get back?
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