Call a Doctor, My Burger is Killing Me

Ron and I went to try out a new restaurant that recently opened, called 
I thought it was a dumb name for a burger place, but until they hire me as a consultant, I am keeping my opinion to myself.
It was much smaller than expected; the whole establishment could fit in a good sized ambulance. The waitress or rather our nurse for the evening came to take our orders. She was missing the nurse’s cap, but had the outfit down pat. Yes, here in Hungary, nurses are allowed to wear open toed shoes. Amazes me still.
The menu other that the monthly special, looked like a vampire child wiped the excess blood from their last meal to hand paint the offerings listed on the wall inside and on paper menus at the table. Options were limited to burgers and hot dogs, but given the name of the establishment, it should not be a shocker. We are not talking gourmet here.
Our nurse tried pushing us to order the heart attack special that rounded out to over 2,000 Huf a piece, but we did not need a liter of beer each. We went for the more subtle hamburger and fries with a large glass of beer.

When the burgers arrived, they were so large, she practically needed a gurney and paramedics to do the transfer. The rolls were the size of a regulation US football and just about the same texture. One roll could feed a flock of Roman pigeons for 2 days of non-stop feasting. The fries were boring, skinny things that really looked anemic next to the burger.

Now, I have been told more than once that I have a big mouth, but not even I could wrap my lips around this big boy. The top half of the bun had to go, effectively eliminating a kilo of food. Regrettably, it also exposed the meat to closer inspection; not a smart move on my part. Eventually, I was able to tackle this brown Frisbee like gastronomic mystery meat with the green fringe hanging off of it, presumably lettuce. 

By the time we were finished with our ‘meal’, we were ready for CPR. I don’t think it will be long before this dining establishment is on the hospice list.

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